


Surrender

by shirewalker



Series: alternative R+R ending [2]
Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Mal is dead, Smut, alternative ending, nikolai and alina get cozy hehe, ruin and rising alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 15:46:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7851316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirewalker/pseuds/shirewalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternative R+R ending in which Alina stayed in Ravka and eventually married Nikolai. Prequel to "300 years of waiting".</p><p>Alina loves him, but it's scary and she doesn't know what to do. What happens when she finds him sleeping peacefully?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surrender

“Come on Zoya, admit it! You like him. You like Harshaw!!” Genya excitedly said, as she picked up a glass of warm milk, a hand on her large belly. The redhead had the distinctive glow of pregnancy and an ever present smile on her face.

Zoya, who was sitting on a chair opposite the Tailor, just scoffed in disdain, “In your wildest dreams, Genya. He and I just teach a class together. The man’s beyond common sense. Styling his hair and beard and clothing because the _CAT_ said so. _And_ he flirts with the students!” she added, her voice growing into a high pitch, an unexpected blush growing on her cheeks. If she was trying to fool her friends, her body was betraying her.

Alina chuckled before picking up two cookies and eating them up, “Come on Zoya, you look like a jealous girlfriend.” The Squaler shot her a dirty look before leaning back and crossing her arms, her mouth curling into a dangerous smile.

Alina shifted in her chair, knowing her blue eyed friend was about to attack her. Genya, Tamar and Nadia all traded a worried look but remained quiet, eagerly awaiting Zoya’s strike.

“And what about you, Starkov?” Zoya asked, her voice cold as ice.

Alina gulped but said nothing. It was best to play dumb.

“Hmm? Cat got your tongue?”

She refused to take the bait and turned to get more cookies.

“Come on Alina. You’re dying to ask. So ask. Ask what I could possibly mean with that.” She didn’t. She already knew what Zoya meant. And she really, really didn’t want to talk about it.

Zoya looked as pleased with her silence as she would be if Alina had said anything at all, “You and Nikolai” she said, her voice low and predatory.

This time Alina couldn’t help herself and caught the bait with both hands, “What are you talking about, Zoya?”

“You and your _husband_. The _KING_. I’ve… no, scratch that… We _all_ have seen the way you look at him, how you blush when someone, especially him, catches you staring at him with dreamy eyes. Admit it. You’re in love with him.” She went straight for the kill. Saints, Alina really wished they’d stayed on the Zoya and Harshaw theme.

She turned to the other girls for support but they all shared the same knowing look. There was no help coming her way. There was no escape but rushing through the door with a pathetic excuse, which wouldn’t help her case at all.

Alina cleared her throat before speaking, cool and collected, just like _he_ ’d taught her, “I sincerely do not know what you’re talking about. And,” she added, just as Genya opened her mouth, “It’s getting late. I’ve got an important meeting tomorrow morning and I can’t stay around any longer. Talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight!” she hastily excused herself before leaving Genya’s room.

 

* * *

 

The only sounds Alina could hear were the echoes of her footsteps on the darkened hallways and the strong heartbeat in her chest. Her heart was beating so hard and so fast she was certain it would crash through her ribs, rocket to the moon and stay there forever.

This was bad. She had been careful. So very careful. Hadn’t she?

She… she liked him, yes, but it was her own secret. Just like the name of a silver eyed man was. No one was supposed to find out. But they did…

Alina paused in a shadowed corner and put a hand to her heart, wishing it to stop beating so hard. It thundered in her chest. She was certain someone could hear it if they stood close enough.

Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out… Several minutes passed by before the white haired girl felt like she was back to her normal self. She took a ginger step out of the protective shadows and returned to her route, her body growing confident and steady with each step.

 

The walk back to the royal wing was quiet and uneventful, just as she had wished for. The palace still felt too big for her, but it was home now and she had grown fond of its walls and corridors and tapestries and paintings. Of course, its décor had changed a bit since the previous rulers left the premises, it was much more tasteful now.

She bid goodnight to the guards at the door to their chambers and walked in. The foyer was large and had a few intricately decorated chairs surrounding a round mahogany table. It used to be decorated in that lavish style Alina disliked so much, but now its walls only had paintings done by her, at the king’s insistence. Three doors led out of the room and Alina walked through the middle and larger one.

Just as expected, the bedroom was empty. The covers of the bed were untouched, confirming that her husband was still up somewhere else in the palace. A fire burned in the fireplace, keeping the room warm and inviting. There were several candles already lit, which gave the room a golden glow. With a sigh, she walked to a side door and slowly opened it.

The private office seemed to be at odds with itself. The shelves were meticulously organized, with books arranged by themes and alphabetical order. There was not a speck of dust on them.

But his desk, well… desks… Papers were scattered everywhere, giving the idea that the desks had been constructed entirely of paper, or that a bomb had exploded there... Official Ravkan papers to sign, random notes from the most various sources, schematics for new inventions and the occasional paper where Nikolai wrote down his nightmares. Those… those papers never made it until the end of the night, with the hazel eyed man throwing them in the fire before going to bed. Among the sea of papers were other things as well, abandoned coffee cups, half-eaten cookies, an half empty bottle of kvas left abandoned…

The air was filled with his scent, of wood and sea. Welcoming and mysterious. It was another of Alina’s secrets how much she loved it. It was so calming, so soothing, she always felt lighter when she took it in.

And there, sleeping on his chair, was Nikolai. The king of Ravka… and her husband.

 

* * *

 

Mal was dead. The Darkling was dead.

But Alina wasn’t. She’d endured, somehow… Powerless, yes, but she was still breathing. She was still alive.

In spite of her wishes of leaving Os Alta behind, Nikolai and her friends begged her not to leave. Solitude was nice, but not when she’d lost so much. It was easier for them to offer her support when needed if she stayed close.

And so she stayed.

A new identity was created for her. Alina Kuya was her new name and she would be a Sun Summoner historian. A reclusive librarian that had rushed to the capital as soon as news of new Sun Summoners spread through the land. Her white hair? No one really knew why, but since very few had seen the Sankta’s face up close, it was easy to pass it as the historian’s way of honouring the late Summoner. Alina refused to have Genya tailor it constantly.

 

It took her a while to heal… She had lost so much on that day in the Fold…

The first day that she smiled and laughed again was the day Nikolai had blown up an airship prototype. The man, always so well dressed and pristine, was covered in ashes and debris from head to toe and his ruffled and stumped look was the most hilarious thing Alina had laid eyes on. She’d laughed until tears were falling down her face and she had to double over with how much her stomach hurt. She had missed feeling like this.

A couple of months later Nikolai proposed for the first time since the Darkling’s death. Alina declined, of course, but the ring remained in her hands and a hopeful smile on Nikolai’s face.

The second time was after a court ball, where the king had been harassed by dozens of free ladies. He’d half-jokingly begged her to accept his hand and free him of this never ending parade of power hunger court women. She declined again, not finding his reasons good enough to even think about it. “You’re great with words, Nikolai. You’ll figure a way out.” She’d said before going back to her rooms.

A little over a month later the two fell into the lake after Alina pranked and forced the blonde into the water. He wasn’t about to go down without a fight and so he dragged her along. When they resurfaced, the water so cold their chins were tittering, the first thing Alina heard was a half-screamed proposal, interrupted by the purest laughter she’d ever heard coming from him, “Marry me Alina Starkov!”

Something had shifted between them by then and Alina found herself nodding, “Fine. I’ll marry you!” she’d said, trying to no avail to look slightly put off by the new proposal.

They married almost a year after her supposed arrival, a ceremony so grand and luxurious that Alina felt very inclined to kidnap her fiancée just so they could have a proper ceremony without all the theatrics that a royal wedding demanded. “Relax Alina, it’ll be over before you know it.” He had said, trying to comfort her.

It wasn’t.

While she did feel like a princess, everything took too long and was boring and uninteresting. Nikolai did his best to keep her awake and entertained, dancing with her whenever he could, making jokes when no one could hear them and poking her in the ribs when she started to doze off, but by the end of the night all Alina wanted to do was to run away and hide in her new chambers.

 

* * *

 

Nikolai was deep asleep and didn’t even stir when she approached the desk nor when she leaned on it with her back to the papers.

His sea blue jacket was thrown over the chair’s back and his white shirt was ruffled and had its top buttons undone, showing a bit of his collarbones. She’d seen them several times, yes, but every time she had a new glimpse it was like the first time, making her heart beat so, so fast. How could Alina Starkov be so attracted to collarbones?

His blonde hair was all tousled, giving the looks that he’d been working on something tricky and had passed his hands through it at least a hundred times. It was also longer than usual. Which gave him a wilder and oddly more adorable look.

Her eyes lingered on the slope of his nose, where a few tiny stray freckles had taken residence. She’d spent so many nights lying awake next to him that she already knew how many there were, exactly 13 tiny darker spots. More often than not, Alina found herself having to hold back the need to touch them. Her gaze then shifted to the curves of his lips. His pink and so perfectly looking lips. There was a faint upwards curve on a corner of his mouth and Alina smiled in return, glad to see that tonight the privateer was having a pleasant dream. She cocked her head to the side, what could possibly make him smile like that?

She loved watching him sleep. This was Nikolai’s most raw form. Not his privateer persona, not his prince or king persona, just… Nikolai. It took her breath away, to have this unique chance to see him so close and pure.

Nikolai shifted in his chair and a lock of hair fell to his eyes. More on instinct than anything, Alina’s hand reached forward to tuck it away. But she didn’t remove her hand, instead letting it graze through the soft strands and move down to his cheek. Her fingers lingered there, the girl so afraid she’d wake him up she was barely touching his skin. His lips parted and Alina sucked in a breath when she saw just how close she’d gotten to him.

Her heart was beating so hard, so, so hard… Only Nikolai could have it going like that. She didn’t know how or when it happened, just that one day it did. Nikolai’s presence threw her body into disarray. Her breath would catch, her blood would freeze and boil simultaneously, her skin tingle in expectation of his touch and worse… her stomach would flutter so violently she was constantly afraid of falling to her knees. Such was the effect the king of Ravka had on her…

She brushed the tip of her thumb across his lips, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him in these conditions. Well… she could do it right now and satisfy that burning curiosity. A light brush of lips, barely enough to wake him up. That could work. All she had to do was…

His eyes fluttered open and Alina found herself a breath away from his mouth and staring straight into his confused and bleary eyes. Those beautiful and mischievous hazel eyes that always held so many secrets.

“Alina…?”

She hesitated. There was always the option to just peck his cheek, rush out of there with a quick goodnight and hide under the covers pretending she had never even thought about kissing him.

But…

She could also just go for it, once and for all and stop bottling down her feelings. To just let go. Saints knew how much she wanted to do it and drown in him.

So she did, just as Nikolai was about to speak again.

For a moment he was unresponsive, her sudden movement taking him by surprise, but soon he was kissing her back and pulled her on to his lap. He was as into it as she was. Yet, when Alina was about to deepen it, the kiss was interrupted. By Nikolai.

“Something wrong?” she asked. Why had he stopped? Had she misread all the shameless flirting? Had she kissed him wrong?

“No, not at all… I… Are you sure—”

Nikolai didn’t even have time to finish his question, with her crushing her lips on his as soon as he’d said ‘no’. His question was sweet and chivalrous, but unnecessary. Of course she was sure, the longer she kissed him the more certain she was of this. She’d had plenty of time to turn back anyway.

Her kiss was fierce, hungry and demanding. She captured his lower lip with her teeth and pulled and teased at it, earning sweet moans from the blonde man. Her hands left his face and travelled to his shoulders, strong with sailor muscles. Nikolai had one hand up her hair, drawing sweet tantalising circles on her scalp, and another hand on her thigh, holding her close, his fingers kneading on the muscle, waves of electricity bursting from the sensible spot.

Alina’s night robe fell from her shoulders, pooling by Nikolai’s feet and she quickly undid the buttons of his shirt, throwing it away as soon as she could, her hungry hands going straight to his toned and scarred chest. Nikolai froze under her touch, suddenly hyperaware of those ugly marks. Sensing his hesitation, Alina left his lips and drew a swift and straight line of kisses down his neck until she reached the scars and kissed them, over and over again. Her kisses had an almost healing magic of their own and he seemed to relax under her touch, relieved that she didn’t shy away from the ragged lines.

She travelled back up and nibbled at his earlobe, making Nikolai groan in pleasure before he quickly picked her up and settled her on his desk. There was a flurry of papers flying away behind her as he cleared the desk and her body vibrated with lustful anticipation. He kissed her again, his lips gliding over hers with a burning thirst, any inhibitions he might have had long gone now. The nightgown was gone in a flash and her hands quickly got rid of those gloves he always wore. A moment later his skilful hands cupped her breasts while he kissed her senseless.

His thumbs were doing very, very sinful things to her nipples and she groaned and bit him in reply, their tongues fighting and dancing together. She dug her fingers in his back and locked her legs around his waist, bringing the two even closer. Nikolai let out a groan with her sudden movement but his momentum remained steady as he teased and teased her into oblivion.

Alina threw her head back when he kissed her neck, his thumbs never ceasing their little dance. She let out a soft moan and lied back, Nikolai’s lips and hands following her. She felt his devilish smirk against her skin as he travelled down, goose bumps growing in his trail.

He paused when he reached the waistband of her panties, taking in the scent of her skin. She smelled of honey and salt, a combination seemingly impossible but so deliciously perfect on her. He kissed her centre above the fabric and Alina shuddered, lost in pleasure and anticipation.

His hands left their spot, making Alina whimper with their loss, and he locked his index fingers on the hem of that very last piece of fabric, ready to tear it apart.

And yet, he didn’t move.

“No… Not like this.” He breathed, the first words to come out of his lips since she’d began kissing him.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What?” she finally said, sounding more annoyed than she wanted. What the hell did he mean with that?

Nikolai just let out a faint chuckle before he straightened and helped her sit. When she was close enough, he kissed her swollen lips before adding, “I don’t want our first time together to be on top of some desk, Alina. We can desecrate office furniture on another time.” He flashed a devilish smile, the promise hanging in the air. Something fluttered inside her and she kissed him lightly before locking her legs around his waist once more, “Very well, _moi tsar_.” She breathed in his ear and Nikolai wasted to time in taking her to their room.

 

“Have I ever told you how beautiful your hair is?” he murmured against her neck mid-kiss, his fingers buried in her moonlight hair, so soft and silky it felt like water rolling off his skin. It should be illegal for someone to feel this good.

She hummed negatively and he could feel her vibrations under his lips sending spikes of electricity through him. “Well, it is, sunshine.” He confirmed before moving to her lips and ravishing on them. His tongue glided over her lips goading her into parting them so he could explore that delicious mouth of hers. He drew a wicked smile when she did so.

Alina’s moans were drowned by his own as they kissed each other senseless. Her hands roamed the panes of the muscles on his back, tense and defined. Saints, it felt so good to touch him like this. She rolled her hips lightly and felt how much he wanted her through the flimsy layers of fabric, hard and unmistakable.

Nikolai’s lips were gone and she took a sharp intake of air, gasping a second later when his dangerous tongue flicked the vein in her neck before he moved down and down, his mouth planting wicked and burning kisses along her body.

Quick as a flash, her underwear was gone and Nikolai’s thumbs were massaging her inner thighs, soft moans escaping her parted lips as he moved in on her. A thumb brushed once over her clit and her hips buckled forward instinctively. “Nikolai!” she gasped, her hands digging into the silk sheets.

The privateer flashed her a devilish smile before he lowered his head and ravished on her.

“OH! SAINTS!” she screamed as he flicked and teased her warm core. She was burning for him, her skin igniting with each teasing flick, her mind turning to a puddle as his expert tongue drove her mad with passion. A shudder and she was coming undone, a new layer of shine on her skin. Her breathing was laboured when he found his way back to her lips, all red from her biting. Saints, the sight of her knocked the air off of his lungs. She was so beautiful… How had he gotten so lucky?

He reached for her and placed feather-light kisses on the corners of her mouth, whispering, in between kisses, how beautiful she was. His words, so true and honest, were like prayers being etched on her skin.

“Nikolai… Please.” She begged, dying to have him inside her. She was desperate to have him fill her, for the two to come down as one. Her hands pulled him down and she kissed him with a new fever, her fingertips digging into his skin.

Nikolai rolled against her, earning a moan and a bite from the summoner. He smiled at that, finding her playful bites more sensual than he’d ever expected.

 

“I love you, Alina.” He confessed, his mouth a breath away from hers, before he slid inside. She was warm and slick and so very welcoming… He groaned, drunk in pleasure and love, the sensation of being inside her almost too much for his brain to function properly.

The confession took her breath away, but her body kept working on its own. Alina hadn’t expected those words so soon, but they filled her entire being with a new and unknown fire that burned her every cell. She took his lips within hers and kissed him painstakingly slowly while rolling her hips and goading the man into action. He answered her call and began moving in and out, earning sweet moans from his wife every time a thrust went further.

Their rhythm, slow at first, soon gained speed and the room was filled with the sounds of their bodies moving together and their moans and groans and gasps.

A hand found hers and he locked the two together above their heads as he kissed her lips and moved inside her.

With each new thrust, Alina felt closer and closer to reaching her climax.

His kisses, sweet and wild, left her lightheaded. There were words being carved on her skin, words of love and passion and beauty. She had never felt more loved than before this moment, when Nikolai was bearing his soul to her. Alina wanted to melt with him, she wanted to freeze this moment and live in it forever.

A scream, his name, left her lips when she came undone, one final thrust pushing her over the edge. Her fingernails drew sharp red lines on his back with the strength of her newest orgasm, her own way of leaving her mark on his tanned body. The privateer smiled against her neck and kept on moving, their locked hands high above their heads almost fusing together with their tight grip.

“Alina… my Alina” he groaned above her lips when he found his release and filled her every corner, the sensation so satisfying she let out a giddy chuckle before she captured his lips once more with a quick chaste kiss.

It was pure bliss, to come undone like this, with him, _because_ of him.

 

Nikolai lied down next to her, his arms spread open, a stupid smile carved on his face. “Whew, you’re exhausting, my dear.” He joked, before yelping when she smacked him straight on his chest.

“Idiot” she hissed. A moment later she rolled onto him and placed the kisses of a saint all over his chest and hands, not letting one single scar go without being kissed, without being… blessed. Nikolai sighed a happy and relieved breath when she finished, his insecurities over those ugly dark marks bigger than he would ever admit out loud. His time as a… monster… that time, it would always haunt him. And those scars, they would always be there to mock him. But perhaps… with her there with him, perhaps they wouldn’t hurt as much now, perhaps he could even find courage to bear them like war marks. Perhaps…

“I love you too, Nikolai” she breathed where his heart was, before placing a sweet and warm kiss on that beating spot. “I love you too, my insufferable but still very damnably handsome Nikolai.” She repeated once she reached his smiling lips, having drawn a trail of warm loving kisses across his chest and neck on her way there.

 

* * *

 

Alina woke up in Nikolai’s arms just as the sun was rising above the horizon. The two were curled up together, their bodies so tangled up it would be impossible to separate them without having to pry them apart.

The fireplace held nothing but cold grey embers and ashes now and the room had a faint scent of sweat and smoke.

She stretched her arms above her head and sighed, mouth curling into a content and happy smile. Her eyes moved to the sleeping man whose arms were still locked around her body, his hair so messed and dishevelled she was forced to bite her tongue in order to not laugh out loud at the comical look. But when her gaze dropped to his lips, curled into a smile that mirrored her own, all wants of laughing were replaced with one singular need to keep him smiling like that for a long time, preferably forever.

A mischievous smile grew on her face when she had a crazy idea.

“Ouch!” Nikolai squealed when she poked his stomach, making Alina giggle like crazy over the sound he made. “What--? Did you just poke me, Alina dearest?” he asked, half-annoyed half-entertained, an eyebrow shooting up as he said the words.

She bit her lip, trying to look like the innocent saint she wasn’t before answering, “No?”

“Oh you little…” Nikolai said before the dove in and started a tickle attack, making Alina cackle like a madwoman.

“STOP! NI-KO-LAAAIII!!” she screamed amid her laughter, Nikolai tickling her without any mercy whatsoever.

“No. I shan’t! You POKED ME!” he teased her, nibbling on her exposed neck before he finally stopped his attack, Alina now on her back with him towering over her. “Maybe I could punish you in another way…” he bit his lip, pretending to be deep in thought. A second later he was kissing her, his lips teasing hers until she moaned, only to have him break the kiss a little too soon, leaving her hanging.

Alina shot him a deadly look. And Nikolai just flashed her a very, very smug smirk. “That’s a better punishment, judging by your reaction.”

When she only kept throwing him dirty looks, Nikolai lowered his head until their noses bumped, earning a giggle from her pink lips, “You’re impossible, Nikolai” she said, trying to go back to her murderous look but failing miserably when he kept on bumping their noses.

“Don’t say that. You love me, remember? How could you ever find this damnably handsome face ‘impossible’? Plus, there’s no such thing as impossible.” He added with a wink.

Decided enough was enough, Alina pushed him off of her and rolled the two until he was the one on his back, and she the one straddling him. “That’s better!” she announced with a chirpy tone before sitting on top of him. Nikolai closed his eyes and let out a strangled groan, her body putting pressure on him like that… She smirked at this reaction, pleased with the sweet payback. She placed her hands on his stomach and drummed lightly, humming in deep thought, “I was wondering… How about… _breakfast_?” she suggested, rolling her hips once, a familiar heat pooling in her centre.

Nikolai just kept his mouth shut, a loud groan building in his throat. Alina’s smirk grew wider.

After a long silence and couple more teasing moves from her hips, the king finally let out in a strangled voice, “I’m thinking… this side of yours… is much… hum… more surprising… than I… oh… expected…” he finally finished, his words coming out rough and desperate.

“Is that a yes or should I go take a bath?” she inquired, keeping her tone as chirpy as possible and her heated body as secret as possible. There was no need to let him know she was as thirsty for him as he was for her right now.

Nikolai nodded quickly in agreement. The movement strained and tense. Saints, she really had him now didn’t she?

Alina smiled victoriously. They still had a couple of hours before the very important meeting they were having that morning. Until then, they could very well make up for all the lost time. And she had a few ideas on how to do just that.


End file.
